So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
