i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize