people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
