Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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