Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How does one acquire holy water?
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