I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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