i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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