i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
