dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
