I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
love makes seman taste better
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
