booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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