Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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