You just made me feel so damn special
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
