i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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