just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
