i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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