Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
