i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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