I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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