You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
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So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
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His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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