I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
