I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
