eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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