u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
