she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons