he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
there is puke in my bra ... again
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
