College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Still dying that you shit outside
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
