I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
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You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
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Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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