Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
