She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I touched a dick in church today
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
