I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
