But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
