Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
