The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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