At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
