It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
