I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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