Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
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Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
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That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize