I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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