stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
