Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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