Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
