brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just found puke in my bra..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
