Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
