There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I have tasted many bathrooms
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
