whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
