Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
