hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
