Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
