is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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