Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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