Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
