you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
