I CAN MOONWALK!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize