Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
