I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
