This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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