i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
