ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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