the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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