If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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