She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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