Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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