WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
