I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
