i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
