Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
