TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
