i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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