My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
